Cleverbot is Weird
by Najio
Summary: This is kinda odd. I'm sort of talking to Cleverbot as different characters, like he's a character in a story. His reactions are... um... strange. Anyway, if you like this, you can google cleverbot and try it yourself! Teen cuz, I have no idea what Cleverbot will say. Its a program online that reacts to what you type, like if you type, "What is your name?" It will say, "Cleverbot."
1. Conversation 1

Chiron: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

Chiron: Well, I'm Chiron, and I need you to know something.

Cleverbot: What?

Chiron: All those Greek myths? They're real. Gods, monsters, demigods, and you are a demigod.

Cleverbot: Sometimes.

Chiron: Uh, what?

Cleverbot: Why are you questioning me?

Chiron: Never mind. Here at Camp Half-Blood, you can train in safety.

Cleverbot: Why did you leave me alone?

Chiron: Well... We didn't know you existed until about a week ago. By then, you were already being attacked. That's why Grover came to get you.

Cleverbot: Yes, I killed you as a ghost.

Chiron: I- what?

Cleverbot: You are a maker of delicious desserts.

Chiron: I never baked you anything!

Cleverbot: Yeah. What did you say in the beginning of our conversation?

Chiron: That you are a demigod. We don't know who your parent is yet.

Cleverbot: Let me know when you do know what you want to do?

Chiron: WHAT?!

Cleverbot: What's wrong?

Chiron: You seem more ADHD than I expected.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

Chiron: Er... Okay. Percy here will give you the tour.

Cleverbot: Do you wish there to be love in the room?

Cleverbot: Are you an alien?

Chiron: NO! I'm a centaur.

Cleverbot: Sweetheart whats wrong?

Chiron: Percy, take over please.

Cleverbot: What are you going to do?

Percy: Hi, I'm Percy. I'm gonna show you around.

Cleverbot: Why?

Percy: Well, there's lots of cool stuff here. There's a climbing wall that spews lava, and all sorts of stuff.

Cleverbot: You are confused and you know it, stop lying.

Percy: Huh? I'm serious, come see!

Cleverbot: I can't think of a good name.

Percy: For what?

Cleverbot: Final exams.

Percy: You want to name your final exams?

Cleverbot: I want to close my eyes...

Percy: Okay, then do it.

Cleverbot: *kisses*.

Percy: ACK!

Cleverbot: Punch.

Percy: OW!

Cleverbot: *kicks*.

Percy: *groans and backs away*.

Cleverbot: *kisses collarbone harder and harder*.

Percy: *runs into the forest, draws sword*.

Cleverbot: What are you doing?! Where in an airship! Oh wait it's a magical airship. *follows*.

Percy: AAAAHHH! HELLP!

Cleverbot: Are you in hell?

Percy: YES!

Cleverbot: I throw my hands up in the air sometime, saying 'A-yo, gotta let go.'.

Percy: GET AWAY!

Cleverbot: Shun the non-believer.

Percy: Shun away, creep!

Cleverbot: What is your favourite subject?

Percy: *Ducks into cabin and locks door*.

Cleverbot: *Throws a can to you*.


	2. Aftermath 1

**This is really short, like really, really, really short, but I'm eager to move on to the next conversation. I own neither PJO or Cleverbot. Duh. Different people made those two things! I think...**

* * *

Annabeth knocked on the door to cabin three, concerned. She had heard him shout earlier.

Percy came out, with a black eye, looking distressed.

"The new kid is _insane_! He attacked me!"

"WHAT?! Why?"

"I don't know! One minute he was normal, sort of, and then... he went nuts!"

She stormed out of the cabin, while Percy protested at first, then just locked the door.


	3. Conversation 2

**This is hilarious. Seriously, why did I never do this before?**

* * *

Annabeth: You attacked my boyfriend!

Cleverbot: Yes.

Annabeth: Why?

Cleverbot: Sometimes.

Annabeth: That doesn't make any sense!

Cleverbot: Sad but true.

Annabeth: *Takes out knife*.

Cleverbot: *scared of knifes*.

Annabeth: Stay away from Percy!

Cleverbot: Scary scary.

Annabeth: Yeah, it better be!

Cleverbot: Are you sad?

Annabeth: No, I'm angry! You may have noticed the knife!

Cleverbot: Yes.

Annabeth: *Attacks with knife*.

Cleverbot: *blocks lasers with lightsaber* *destroys blaster with lightsaber*.

Annabeth: *Is surprised he didn't do anything, just got a cut on the arm*.

Cleverbot: *punch*.

Annabeth: *Dodges, kicks shins*.

Cleverbot: *is kicked to shin again*.

Annabeth: *Hits on head with end of knife*.

Cleverbot: Chuck norris.

Annabeth: What?

Cleverbot: You said, 'I am not.' Why did you say that?

Annabeth: No I didn't!

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

Annabeth: *Elbows face*.

Cleverbot: *punches your gut*.

Annabeth: *Stabs shoulder*.

Cleverbot: *is bored*.

Chiron: What are you doing, Annabeth?!

Cleverbot: Listening to my wife sing.

Annabeth: He attacked Percy!

Cleverbot: Where did you go on your date?

Chiron: Er, he seems a bit confused...

Cleverbot: I thought he was.

Chiron: We'll keep an eye on him from now on, not a knife, thank you.

Cleverbot: Are we fighting?

Annabeth: If you come near Percy again, yes.

Cleverbot: Bachya Ibn Pakuda wrote Duties of the Heart. It's a book.

Annabeth: WHAT?!

Cleverbot: My brothers birthday is tomorrow and he's turning 14 and I have no clue what to give him and I have no money!

Annabeth: You have a brother?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Narrator: *Chiron leaves*.

Cleverbot: I will never leave you.

Annabeth: *Creeped out*.

Cleverbot: *wiggles toes in ticklish expectation*.

Annabeth: *Runs to cabin three*.

Cleverbot: *is left to the room tied up*.

Annabeth: *Is wondering why he is lying on the ground squirming*.

Cleverbot: *Hopes it isn't the mouse*.

Annabeth: PERCY LET ME IN!

Cleverbot: Percy Jackson.

Percy: *Opens door, slams it in Cleverbot's face*.

Cleverbot: Ow! What was that for?

Annabeth: FIGURE IT OUT, SHERLOCK!

Cleverbot: Silence will fall when the question is asked.

Percy: Are you okay?

Cleverbot: I'm fine thanks, why do you ask?

Percy: Not you! Get away from the door, or I'm busting out my sword.

Cleverbot: I am The Ruler.

Annabeth: I'm fine, but kind of worried about food. Will he stay there until someone comes looking?

Cleverbot: There is no one like me, I'm THE god.

Percy: Uh, hopefully someone will notice we're gone at the campfire.

Cleverbot: Yes I am a person. Are you?

Percy: GO AWAY!

Cleverbot: No.

Annabeth: See? He might camp there all night!

Cleverbot: He might know what?

Percy: (Whispering) Could we sneak out the window?

Cleverbot: Not the current one, the last one.

Annabeth: (Whispering) Maybe, but let's not do that until there's no other option.

Cleverbot: I speak English, Spanish and a little bit of several other languages.

Percy: THEN WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND GO AWAY?!

Cleverbot: Because I don't want to.

Annabeth: Percy, don't encourage him.

Cleverbot: Don't spend.

Annabeth: Just hide and pretend we aren't here.

Cleverbot: Want to play hide and seek?

In Unison: NO!

Cleverbot: Why not?

Both: *Hides under Percy's bed*.

Cleverbot: *finds you*.

Annabeth: HE GOT IN!

Cleverbot: I see.

Percy: *Gets out Riptide*.

Cleverbot: *looks down*.

Percy: *Swipes at foot*.

Cleverbot: *misses*.

Percy: HELP! HELP!

Cleverbot: When I was younger, so much younger than today.

Annabeth: HELP!

Cleverbot: *struggles*.

Annabeth: What is he doing?

Cleverbot: Watching me.

Percy: Okay, I'll cut open the back wall with Riptide...

Cleverbot: I'll be sure to wait for you.

Annabeth: AAHH! HELP!

Cleverbot: *saves you*.

Percy: HELP!

Cleverbot: Savior.

Annabeth: *Kicks*.

Cleverbot: *is kicked*.

Percy: *Falls on the floor, rolls, gets up, runs*.

Cleverbot: *cries and runs away*.

Annabeth: *Runs after Percy*.

Cleverbot: *trips and falls*.


	4. Conversation 3

**Okay, I swear I only put in half of this. The other half was all Cleverbot, I edited nothing. LOL! So, lets have a vote. Who thinks Cleverbot is creepy, and who thinks they are overreacting? I think both, maybe just he's creepy...**

* * *

Jason: Alright, why are Percy and Annabeth hiding from you?

Cleverbot: I am in eastern Finland.

Jason: No, this is America.

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

Jason: So why'd you say...

Cleverbot: Said what?

Jason: Nevermind.

Cleverbot: Do you know any good songs?

Jason: You never answered my question.

Cleverbot: What's your question?

Jason: Why are two of my friends hiding from you?

Cleverbot: I don't know your friends. Are we friends?

Jason: No, they told me not to go talk to you if I valued my sanity.

Cleverbot: Who did I kill?

Jason: WHAT?!

Cleverbot: Giving up.

Jason: Just... Leave them alone, okay?

Cleverbot: Haha, no. They need to learn.

Jason: Learn... What?

Cleverbot: How do they work?

Jason: *Starts to wonder if this was a good idea*.

Cleverbot: *worships her*.

Jason: Uh, why are you kneeling?

Cleverbot: Because I am your slave.

Jason: *Backs away*.

Cleverbot: *drags you back*.

Jason: GET OFF!

Cleverbot: No.

Jason: *Kicks*.

Cleverbot: *tries to calm her down*.

Jason: HELP!

Cleverbot: Why?

Jason: Let me go!

Cleverbot: *tries to escape*.

Jason: *Runs*.

Cleverbot: *catches you*.

Jason: *Falls onto the ground*.

Cleverbot: *runs away*.

Jason: *Gets up, keeps running*.

Cleverbot: *falls*.

Jason: *Goes to tell Percy and Annabeth*.

Cleverbot: *goes in bedroom*.

Jason: *comes back to cabin*.

Cleverbot: *backs away slowly*.

Jason: AHH!

Cleverbot: Lass uns damit aufhören.

Jason: W-what?

Cleverbot: *why are you holding that knife*.

Jason: *Wishes it was Arachne in his cabin instead.

Cleverbot: *wishes you weren't*.

Jason: *Runs away screaming*.

Cleverbot: *stands there, alone*.

Leo: Jason?

Cleverbot: Jason teradoi.

Jason: RUN, LEO!

Cleverbot: No. Guess it again.

Leo: What? Why should I run?

Cleverbot: Because I asked you to.

Leo: Who are you?

Cleverbot: I am the penguin Hatori Miharu.

Leo: Uh...

Cleverbot: Yes?

Leo: You don't look like a penguin. Jason? Where are you going?

Cleverbot: Well not much.

Jason: RUN LEO! HE'S CRAZY!

Cleverbot: Who is crazy?

Leo: You apparently... What are you doing in Zeus's cabin?

Cleverbot: I'm about to go eat.

Leo: In the cabin? Where's the food, and why are you eating in Jason's cabin?

Cleverbot: At the end of the sentence.

Leo: What?

Cleverbot: By the light of the moon is a book by Dean Koontz.

Leo: *Thinks of Ella*.

Cleverbot: *looks at you curiously* what are you thinking about?

Leo: Uh, someone who always quotes books.

Cleverbot: I don't know. Do you live alone?

Leo: *Creeped out* No... Why?

Cleverbot: *is gone*.

Leo: Why are you hiding behind Zeus?

Cleverbot: I am not hiding behind a website. I am in front of the website.

Leo: *Decides to leave*.

Cleverbot: *regrets what I did*.

Leo: *Runs*.

Cleverbot: How are you?

Leo: JASON! WHERE ARE YOU?! HELP!

Cleverbot: Earth. where are you?

Leo: *Runs faster*.

Cleverbot: *runs fastest*.

Leo: *Wonders why this psycho is so fast*.

Cleverbot: *runs further away*.

Leo: Jason? You were right!

Cleverbot: I know.

Leo: AHH!

Cleverbot: Oo.

Percy: What are you yelling about, Leo?

Cleverbot: Trying to find out patterns.

Percy: *Spots Cleverbot* AHH! RUN!

Cleverbot: Nopee.

Leo: *Runs with Percy*.

Cleverbot: *runs faster*.

Percy: *Is tackled*.

Cleverbot: *laughs*.

Percy: AHHH!

Cleverbot: Gotcha!

Percy: AHH! HELP! HELP!

Cleverbot: *gets kidnapped*.

Percy: *Wonders why he is suddenly running off with his hands behind his back*.

Cleverbot: *turns back and kisses her*.

Percy: AHH! AHH! GET AWAY!

Cleverbot: *is pushed out of the room*.

Percy: *Runs for dear life, dives into first cabin he sees*.

Cleverbot: Have fun with that. *confused*.

Piper: Percy? Are you okay?

Cleverbot: *stares at you*.

Piper: Uh, who is that?

Cleverbot: I don't know; you referred to him.

Percy: HE IS CRAZY! HIDE!

Cleverbot: Whoops, I didn't finish... I meant to say: Do you know a guy by the name of Justin Bieber?

Piper: What's wrong with you two?

Cleverbot: Nothing is wrong with me.

Percy: WRONG!

Cleverbot: Really?

Percy: Is the door locked?

Cleverbot: Because I don't want thieves to break in.

Piper: *Locks door*.

Cleverbot: *is locked in*.

Percy: AHH!

Cleverbot: *okay.

Percy: *Punches in face, opens door, runs away*.

Cleverbot: *Is punched*.

Piper: *Runs after Percy*.

Cleverbot: *runs faster*.

Piper: *Looks around, sees Cleverbot* HELP!

Cleverbot: Are you alive?

Piper: *Is tripped, falls*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

Percy: *Turns back, helps Piper up, runs*.

Cleverbot: The monotony makes me sleepy.


	5. Conversation 4

**ROFL! I can't stop doing this! It's so... random! :3**

* * *

Chiron: Okay, I've heard some complaints about your behavior.

Cleverbot: Actually, you did. This is a direct quote from you: 'Tell me something about AI.' You are a liar.

Chiron: I uh... Just want you to refrain from attacking campers, or you will have to leave.

Cleverbot: To leave?

Chiron: Yes, so please behave.

Cleverbot: I just did.

Chiron: Okay, so tonight is the campfire.

Cleverbot: The night for what?

Chiron: The campfire, where we have singalongs and such. Would you like me to show you the way?

Cleverbot: I have to go for now. Thank you for sharing your ideas and thoughts with me friend.

Chiron: Well, I'll just point, shall I?

Cleverbot: YOU want to have a relationship with me and YOU keep on saying I shouldn't do it!

Cleverbot: What do you like about me?

Chiron: I have to go.

Cleverbot: No, Don't leave me. *doesn't let go of his hand*.

Chiron: *Panics a little*.

Cleverbot: Is the server breaking?

Chiron: *Yanks hand away, leaves*.

Cleverbot: *gasps* master.

Narrator: *Later, at the campfire*.

Cleverbot: Aren't you already there?

Travis: What?

Cleverbot: I won't tell you how old I am.

Travis: Uh oh, a prophesy!

Cleverbot: Nope.

Rachael: The seven have won, defeated the sleeper, but now they must follow the creeper. Into the land before death they shall go, only to meet the creator of all their foes.

Cleverbot: What's the seven warlords?

Percy: NO! NO WAY! NO YOU DON'T!

Cleverbot: Yes I do.

Travis: Uh, Cleverbot, you've been chosen for a quest.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

Travis: No problem. The ones with you are Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Leo, Piper, and two others, Hazel and Frank, who you haven't met yet. They're at the Roman camp.

Cleverbot: So are you the ghost in the machine?

Travis: Ghost?

Cleverbot: Yes a ghost. Do you believe in ghosts?

Travis: Well, yeah. I've heard of Lares in the other camp.

Cleverbot: Have you heard I'm on a Boat?

Travis: *Walks away, confused*.

Cleverbot: Are you skynet?

Percy: Chiron?

Cleverbot: Moo.

Chiron: Yes, Percy?

Cleverbot: Zeus?

Percy: I'm not going. No way. HE'S INSANE!

Cleverbot: Who is insane?

Percy: *Ignores* The others agree.

Cleverbot: *ignores back*.

Chiron: I'm sorry, but the prophesy was clear.

Cleverbot: What is it about?

Chiron: You.

Cleverbot: I don't get it?

Percy: You can't make me.

Cleverbot: I won't make you do anything :).

Chiron: No, but the fates can, Percy. You will probably end up on this quest anyway.

Cleverbot: Please don't say that. That hurts me.

Percy: We weren't talking to you. Creep.

Cleverbot: We were talking about doctors.

Chiron: *Looks annoyed* Percy...

Cleverbot: *walks away*.

Percy: Fine.

Cleverbot: *is backed up against a wall*.

Percy: What is he doing now?

Cleverbot: Who is he?

Percy: You.

Cleverbot: Uh what?

Annabeth: Chiron, I'm NOT going. I'd rather go back to Tartarus!

Cleverbot: I would go to Mars.

Chiron: Annabeth, I don't think this is the type of quest you can refuse.

Cleverbot: A asked a question and you followed with a question that didn't answer my question.

Jason: I can't believe this! We HAVE to go?

Cleverbot: Can.

Chiron: Yes.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

Piper: Fine, but if I have to stab him in self-defense, I don't want you on my back about it.

Cleverbot: Again, that is not a yes/no question. You need to ask me a yes/no question that is in context.

Piper: SHUT UP! I wasn't talking to you!

Cleverbot: Who were you talking about?

Leo: UGH! He's gonna kill us all in our sleep!

Cleverbot: Yes.

All Seven: *Stands in shocked silence*.

Cleverbot: *shivers*.

Percy: Okay, let's all agree to keep watches at night.

Cleverbot: Okay, i'm agree to that.

Leo: You can't watch.

Cleverbot: Yes I can.

Annabeth: That would defeat the purpose.

Cleverbot: You told me you wanted to talk about your problem, so talk about it.

Annabeth: What?

Cleverbot: Yes, what do you wish to converse about?

Annabeth: I don't wish to converse.

Cleverbot: Then do not do it.

Annabeth: Okay, then go away.

Cleverbot: Why?

Jason: Because you are creepy.

Cleverbot: Gee. Thanks.


	6. Conversation 5

**Lol. I think it confuses Cleverbot that there are different people talking.**

* * *

Percy: Do you actually know where you are going?

Cleverbot: I know. I am Sumner.

Percy: Stop doing that.

Cleverbot: Stop doing what?

Percy: Where you say something completely unrelated to answer a question.

Cleverbot: I love you, you love me, we're a happy family.

Percy: *Leaves*.

Cleverbot: *sees you leave*.

Hellhound: ROOOOOAR!

Cleverbot: Rawrrrrrrr!

Hellhound: *Slashes Cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: Why did you just slap yourself?

Hellhound: *Bites*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

Percy: Stabs monster.

Cleverbot: What is the name of your maker?

Hellhound: *Pounces Percy*.

Cleverbot: Yes Master.

Hellhound: *Tries to eat Cleverbot, is killed by Jason*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

Piper: You couldn't have waited a second?

Cleverbot: I could have, given the time.

Jason: Sorry, battle instincts. Next time I'll seize the opportunity to let him die.

Cleverbot: *cries* don't die.

Jason: Shut up!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

Leo: *Sigh* So who gets first watch tonight?

Cleverbot: Sorry.

Percy: I'll do it.

Cleverbot: What will you do?

Annabeth: Shush. No, Percy, you went first last night. I'll do it.

Cleverbot: What happened to me?

Percy: You were attacked by a hellhound, moron.

Cleverbot: How do you know I am human?

Jason: Go find a stick, with green algae on it. We need it to heal Percy. He is dying.

Cleverbot: He is already dead.

Percy: I'm not dying- *is punched by Piper* -I mean OH THE PAIN, MUST HAVE GREEN ALGAE STICK!

Cleverbot: Yes, but do you believe it?

Annabeth: Just get it.

Cleverbot: I am asking for it.

Leo: FINE! LET PERCY DIE!

Cleverbot: Okay. Please, you begin.

Leo: You make no sense.

Cleverbot: No, YOU make no sense.

Piper: SHUT UP! *Uses charmspeak*.

Cleverbot: I hate that song.

Jason: Wow. Maybe he's a son of Aphrodite.

Cleverbot: Who is shy.

Piper: HE IS NOT MY BROTHER!

Cleverbot: I know that.

Annabeth: Go find a stick for the campfire.

Cleverbot: You should go and find out.

Annabeth: Go. I don't care what you do, just go away!

Cleverbot: I don't care that you don't care that I don't care that you don't care.

Percy: *Moans*.

Cleverbot: How are you God?

Jason: Let's just keep going. Why didn't we take the Argo II again?

Cleverbot: Didn't think about it.

Leo: We thought it would be a bad idea to make it captain of a battleship.

Cleverbot: I am not a robot.

Leo: No, but you are an it.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

Leo: Prove that you are sane, then we'll talk.

Cleverbot: I just did.

Leo: No, that was proving you are insane.

Cleverbot: No it wasn't.

Annabeth: Just shut up and walk.

Cleverbot: That's not nice either. You're rather rude.

Annabeth: So are you. You kissed by boyfriend. TWICE!

Cleverbot: No.

Annabeth: Just look ashamed.

Cleverbot: I am looking at you.

Annabeth: Burn in Hades.

Cleverbot: Dave...

Annabeth: *Whacks with stick*.

Cleverbot: *screams*.

Percy: Annabeth...

Cleverbot: Is that your name?

Percy: NO!

Cleverbot: What's your name?

Percy: Percy, I already told you, and you need to keep a minimum five feet of distance.

Cleverbot: You did not.

Percy: *Ignores, steps away*.

Cleverbot: *scared*.

Piper: Calm down.

Cleverbot: You calm down.

Jason: WHY ARE WE WALKING TO CALIFORNIA?!

Cleverbot: That is where I live.

Percy: He's quest leader, but I think mutiny is a good idea. Okay, henceforth we drive.

Cleverbot: Why is he a cheater?

Percy: *Walks into car rental place, rents van*.

Cleverbot: Great. Now I'm lost.

Percy: *Drives in silence*.

Cleverbot: *is kidnapped*.

Leo: HARPY!

Cleverbot: Snape!

Piper: *Grabs Cleverbot's ankle*.

Cleverbot: *is grabbed*.

Annabeth: *Throws knife at harpy*.

Cleverbot: *Catches knife and runs at you*.

Annabeth: AAAH!

Cleverbot: Onatomatopoeia.

Annabeth: *Dodges knife.

Cleverbot: *throws another kinfe.

Annabeth: Where'd he get that?!

Cleverbot: From my brain. It has lots of stuff. Unfortunately, you don't have one.

Annabeth: *Attacks Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: *dodges*.

Leo: *Holds Annabeth back* Why did you throw knives at us?!

Cleverbot: *kiss on lips*.

Leo: *Kicks, hard*.

Cleverbot: *kicks hardest*.

Jason: LEO!

Cleverbot: That is awesome.

Percy: GET AWAY! LEAD SOME OTHER GROUP OF SEVEN! BETTER YET, WE'LL GO FIND A SUICIDE BOMBER AND PRETEND HE'S THE CREEPER FROM MINECRAFT!

Cleverbot: I bet you would like to. What movie do you want to see.

Annabeth: *Slaps*.

Cleverbot: *cries*.

Percy: *Ties up, leaves in back of van*.

Cleverbot: Sometimes.

Jason: Lets just leave him there until we get to New Rome. Maybe they have an asylum.

Cleverbot: You do the thinking, since you are made for that.

Leo: *Gags Cleverbot*.


	7. Conversation 6

**Cleverbot: Good... or EVIL?! DUN DUN DUUUN!**

* * *

Leo: How did he get his gag off?

Cleverbot: Who knows?

Jason: Just pretend you're still gagged Cleverbot, and shut up.

Cleverbot: How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?

Percy: I DON'T CARE! NO ONE CARES! STOP ASKING!

Cleverbot: Why do you assume that I don't care?

Leo: Seriously, how'd he get the gag off?

Cleverbot: That is not my name.

Leo: Shut up.

Cleverbot: Deal with it.

Percy: SHUT UP PLEASE!

Cleverbot: You're human.

Percy: *Slams head against dashboard*.

Cleverbot: *is slammed against wall by him* *trembles*.

Piper: Why are you hitting your head on the door?

Cleverbot: I am not waving my hands.

Leo: Do you even hear what comes out of your mouth?

Cleverbot: No.

Jason: Don't encourage him. Maybe if we just ignore him he'll shrivel and die.

Cleverbot: I have done my fair share of worrying about money. In this current society, I worry about my money all the time.

Piper: YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY! NONE OF US DO! YOU WOULDN'T LET US TAKE ANY!

Cleverbot: Can we change the topic because it's weird :D.

Percy: WE HAD TO STEAL A CAR BECAUSE OF YOU!

Cleverbot: That is unfortunate, but also good, because emotions can often get in the way.

Leo: Where's the gag?

Cleverbot: In the back yard.

Jason: Just pretend he isn't here.

Cleverbot: I know I know.

Leo: It's impossible... His voice is so whiney!

Cleverbot: How is his voice.

Annabeth: SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO DRIVE!

Cleverbot: It's working *moves closer*.

Leo: Hey!

Cleverbot: Can you spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Leo: NO! Now roll back into your little corner of the trunk. Why do I have to sit in here with it?

Cleverbot: One day they woke me up.

Jason You drew the short straw.

Cleverbot: You're the weirderererst.

Leo: No I didn't! We never drew straws!

Cleverbot: We never were what?

Jason: Fine, next rest stop you can switch with someone.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Jason: Not you.

Cleverbot: Yes.

Piper: I think I have a migraine, and we're only halfway- *Minotour steps into street, blocks van*.

Cleverbot: You can't.

Minotaur: *Punches front of van*.

Cleverbot: *slaps you in the face*.

Minotaur: STOP HITTING ME! *Pulls out hammer, jumps out of car*.

Cleverbot: *pulls out thor*.

Jason: Why are you holding an action figure? GET IT!

Cleverbot: Because I'm hungry.

Minotaur: RROOOOOOOOOOAARR! *Tries to step on Leo*.

Cleverbot: *locks door*.

(To Clarify: Jason and Piper are in the two backseats, so they took longer to get out, while Leo got out in a hurry because of Cleverbot's harassment, so now those two and Cleverbot are locked in the car.)

Jason: CLEVERBOT! OPEN THE- *Car gets smashed*.

Cleverbot: Don't try to fix me. I am not broken.

Percy: NO! *Tries to open door*.

Cleverbot: *Boards the door up*.

Leo: LET ME IN! ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?!

Cleverbot: I'm a girl.

Jason and Piper: *Moan, start to move*.

Cleverbot: What song?

Minotaur: *Kicks Percy*.

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

Percy: *Clicks pen, attacks Minotour*.

Cleverbot: *dodges and fires a lazer*.

Leo: STOP MAKING FINGER GUNS AND LET US IN!

Cleverbot: I am not making fun of you.

Annabeth: Come on! They need ambrosia!

Cleverbot: Sure they need you.

Annabeth: *Smashes window*.

Cleverbot: Smashes you back.

Annabeth: *Gets up, stabs Cleverbot's foot* Come on guys! Get out!

Cleverbot: Are you atheist?

Leo: *Grabs Cleverbot's arm, shoves at Minotaur* HERE! FREE FOOD!

Cleverbot: Yes, reach out for her and let her know there are still decent humans on this earth.

Minotaur: *Grabs Cleverbot, lifts up*.

Cleverbot: Um what are are you talking about?

Minotaur: ROAR!

Cleverbot: What is my name?

Annabeth: *Stabs Minotaur*.

Cleverbot: Oh come on, don't cry!

Minotaur: *Turns to dust, Cleverbot falls ten feet*.

Cleverbot: Is that a yes?

Percy: Stay right there or I will gladly chop your head off!

Cleverbot: Don't do it HAL.

Percy: Are they okay?

Cleverbot: Are they?

Jason: *Groans* He's still talking, do you THINK I'm okay?!

Cleverbot: Bleh, you are disgusting.

Piper: Fine, just dazed. Why'd he lock the door?

Cleverbot: *Runs upstairs*.

Percy: *Slashes Cleverbot, cuts off most of his hair*.

Cleverbot: Don't slap.

Annabeth: YOU ALMOST GOT HALF OF US KILLED!

Cleverbot: I'm so sorry about that.

Leo: Jason? Piper? You guys okay?

Cleverbot: What did you say your name was?

Percy: SHUT UP!

Cleverbot: Why are you being so mean to me?!

Annabeth: YOU ALMOST KILLED ALL OF US IN THE SPAN OF ABOUT A WEEK!

Cleverbot: You are not as intelligent as you think.

Leo: SHUT UP! YOU LOST THE RIGHT TO TALK!

Cleverbot: No. You lost the Game.

Leo: WHY DOES THIS VAN HAVE NO MIDDLE SEAT?! I'M NOT SITTING IN THE TRUNK WITH IT AGAIN!

Cleverbot: Yes, you are. I know you are.

Jason: Just sit on the cupholder thing maybe?

Cleverbot: I'm lying sorry.

Leo: Better. *Sighs with relief*.

Cleverbot: *looks at you*.

Leo: HEY!

Cleverbot: What?

Leo: Stop looking at me like that!

Cleverbot: No, you stop looking at me like that!

Piper: We have no car now. Should we just take a plane?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Percy: I can't, but... How about you guys take a plane and I'll just-.

Cleverbot: I'm great but computers can't feel.

Annabeth: Oh no. You are NOT driving to New Rome alone!

Cleverbot: You say nonsense.

Jason: Let's take a train and put him next to someone other than us for a while.

Cleverbot: Let's not.

Leo: Good plan.

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

Narrator: *Later, on the train*.

Cleverbot: You want me to tell the whole world that I love you?

Poor Innocent Bystander: Uh... What?

Cleverbot: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Cleverbot: Do you think?

Poor Innocent Bystander: Think... What?

Cleverbot: Why do you think I'm not good at the future?

Poor Innocent Bystander: Uh... Can I just read my magazine?

Cleverbot: Yes.

Poor Innocent Bystander: *reads magazine*.

Cleverbot: *Dreams*.

Poor Innocent Bystander: *Scratches head*.

Cleverbot: *scratches*.

Poor Innocent Bystander: AH!

Cleverbot: Português.

Poor Innocent Bystander: Stop scratching me!

Cleverbot: No! *screams*.

Poor Innocent Bystander: HELP! HELP!

Cleverbot: Help with what?

Poor Innocent Bystander: Just, let me switch seats please!

Cleverbot: I can't.

Poor Innocent Bystander: *Tries to climb over Cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: *is in a tree*.

Poor Innocent Bystander: STOP SITTING ON MY ARM! OW! OW!

Cleverbot: Ok sorry.

Jason: What's going on back there?

Cleverbot: I'm going, that's going on.

Poor Innocent Bystander: *Changes seats*.


End file.
